I am no parenting expert and it is without a doubt, the biggest blessing, and the hardest job I’ve ever had to do. No one hands you a manual. But one thing I knew for sure when I became a mother was that I did not want to be my daughter’s commander.
I promised to learn her even as I try to teach and guide her. I promised to unlearn the many false notions about life that I was fed as a child and even in adulthood, and learn again before I try to teach and guide her. I promised to ask questions and to listen. I promised to create a safe space where open-mindedness and ingenuity can thrive. I promised that I will never try to stifle or shrink her personality, no matter how bold and boisterous she turns out to be.
Sometimes that means listening even when she isn’t speaking. Looking at her body language. Questioning her emotions. Validating her emotions. Taking myself out of my comfort zone when difficult conversations arise. Creating healthy boundaries without silencing her voice. Uplifting her even when it isn’t warranted. Doing my best and accepting that at times, she may need more. Thankfully, no one ever told me it was going to be easy.
Many of us are holding on to secrets and bad life experiences that our parents will never know of. Some of which they may have been able to shield and protect us from, if only we had the courage to speak to them and they in turn had the courage to listen!
So when my now 7 year old came home a few weeks ago gleefully singing “Valentine’s is coming, where’s your boyfriend, you’re sitting at home, lonelyyyy…” I had to make a choice. Gasp in shock, shut her up and shut her down OR humour her, let her have her fun and use the opportunity to have an age appropriate chat and gauge where her head is at. I am glad I had the courage to do the latter.
Happy Mothers Day to my Mama who despises the thought of her picture floating around online. I thank her for her willingness to unlearn with me… Sometimes. ? To all mamas, especially new first time mamas who are trying their best with very little support: Please know that your best is enough.
Moving my daughter to a new school in Year 5 was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, despite the challenges and doubts from others. Ava faced bullying for being herself and refusing to conform. Her new environment embraced her, rekindled her love for learning and boosted her confidence. The experience is a reminder that sometimes, we just need to find our people.
Struggling with people-pleasing? Look no further. Read to find out how I constant prioritisation of others over your own needs can erode your confidence.
You are what you think! A few tips on overcoming imposter syndrome and boosting self-esteem.
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