Self-loving intentionally and unapologetically

Happy Valentine’s Day! This is a great opportunity to check-in? How are those New Year resolutions going? Towards the end of every year, some people get panic attacks as they go through their checklist of all the things they set out for themselves to work towards achieving, at the start of the next year. In my personal experience, resolutions don’t work and some of the ones people made at the start of this year, have already been abandoned by now. There are so many variables in life and things do not always go to plan. Talk less of this “new normal” that we are currently living in. So if you have not managed to keep up with your resolutions, please give yourself grace.

After an incredibly tough year, instead of focussing too much on resolutions about setting goals and targets, I have decided to just love on myself a little bit more. To have survived a whole year of social distancing as a single mum, working from home, while home-schooling, with no panic attacks, is a major achievement for me. I am therefore making a commitment to self-care, healing and self-love.

I found it particularly interesting when I noticed that Boux Avenue – my favourite underwear store – are promoting self-love for their Valentine’s campaign. When it was launched I thought it was a thoughtful and inclusive marketing strategy considering so many people are alone at this time. Because unless you are in a long-term or steady relationship, you are hopefully not taking any risks. It wouldn’t be worth it!

Sometimes self-love is putting on your fanciest lingerie or lounger – your choice – and lighting some candles for no one but you. A glass of wine, some Oreo cookies or brookies and some chocolate won’t go amiss! Sometimes we need to bring out the pompoms and be our own D.I.Y cheerleaders. Sometimes we need to get up on our own two feet for a well-deserved standing ovation. Sometimes a pat on the back helps or a little nudge to keep going regardless is much needed.

Showing a little bit of compassion to yourself can go a really long way. Remind yourself that even with all your flaws and mistakes, you do have a purpose on this earth that only you can fulfil. Sometimes self-care is respecting your own personal space by minding who you let into it! Sometimes, self-love is as simple as rest and recovery with Netflix on a Saturday evening after ignoring chores all day or maybe it is plantains with fried eggs and iced strawberry and raspberry lemon tea in bed while journaling on a Sunday morning! Sometimes – not all the time – self-indulgence though momentary and short-lived is a much-needed act of self-care! Look for the little things in your life that you can control. Your favourite meal. A friendly chat. A heartwarming movie. A playlist of your favourite songs.

Hope you’ve had an amazingly carefree Valentine’s day.

P.S. If like me you are single, tomorrow is Single’s Awareness Day! Didn’t even know that is a thing. Here’s a reminder that you are enough!